Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Results are in but Jury is out

I had my appointment with Dr K on Monday with both blood & CT scan results in. Overall a positive outcome with my Cancer cell counts down slightly and the tumor sizes remaining stable, slight increase but not enough to worry about. We had the discussion about the SIRT Sphere treatment. The issue we face is if I don’t have it soon I may not be eligible due to my various organs becoming affected by the Chemo. Dr K will speak with the specialist in this field and get his opinion. Best case we could expect out of this treatment is to hopefully reduce the size of the tumors by 50% and pushing my luck kill off all the small tumors which are spotted throughout my liver. This would then give me a longer life span hopefully. I should know more in approximately 10 days. I am back in for CT scans this Friday, this time on my head. I have been suffering from constant headaches and Dr K just wants to make sure it has not spread to my brain, not much chance of that as many people think I don’t have one. Joking!!!! So again living on hope I hope the results are all clear. The current treatment is having an effect on me and I can feel myself having to struggle to get through the afternoons. Meghan and I have spoken about me giving up work, and at some stage I will have to give in and make that decision. I will know when that time comes and will not let my work suffer because of the cancer and resign before that happens, but for now I enjoy my work and will continue. I just reread my blog and noticed I have used the word Hope quite often. Obviously this is what I live on now and to date feel very lucky I have passed the original 18 month life expectancy timeframe and expect to continue to prove the Doctors wrong.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Scans complete and waiting for results

Wednesday I had my scans done and obviously you do not get any results there and then, so the waiting game starts. This is a tense time as I have a lot riding on these results. If they are not good I will more than likely be having SIRT Sphere treatment, which is like injecting the highest form of Chemo directly into my liver and from what I have read takes a lot to recover from. If the results are good well we will continue on the current treatment. Stressful time and to add to it was the passing of Jim Stynes from a 5 year battle with cancer, who is an .AFL football legend for those who are not from Australia. He has been an inspiration to me since I was diagnosed and yes I shed tears when I heard the news. If such a strong and determined man can fall from this disease what hope do I have. He leaves a beautiful family behind and this only makes it so much harder to accept and just makes me stronger to keep fighting. Monday is D day when I meet with Dr K and Meghan is coming, and you know it is an important appointment when Meghan comes and some big decisions may need to be made. I still sit back at times and wonder how I can go from jogging up the beach regularly on the Sunshine Coast 18 months ago to where I am now, not that I am angry or looking for pity, it just goes to show it can happen to anyone, so to everyone please do me one favour, go to the doctor and get tested. Don't be like me and find out when it is too late. I will update you all on the results next week, so keep your fingers crossed for some good news.
Thank you to all who continue to support me as I know everyone leads busy lives.
Bye for now

Saturday, March 10, 2012

TIME TO REFLECT AND BE REALISTIC

It's been 18 months since first diagnosed with terminal cancer. Yes I remember the day very well. Of course the first question back then was how long? Six to eighteen months was the best they could give me. So I have made it to the top end of the average. The first twelve months gave me plenty of hope with fantastic results with the destruction of my bowel tumor. I thought this is going to be a walk in the park and will kick this cancer crap and live until I'm 85 or so. Is that the case now?? At some stage you have to be realistic. I was always told the liver was going to be my demise, and this is panning out to be true. Overall the tumors on my liver have improved since day one but not enough to make any difference to the end result. Meghan and I have been organizing for the future and we both realize it will more than likely not involve me. Just being realistic, because we cannot just put our head in the sand and not take note of what the doctors tell us. Part of the organizing was some paper work which I needed from two oncology specialist, one being my full-time doctor and the other who has been following my case from Adelaide. Both signed off to say I had less than twelve months to live. OK I know I can do better than this but the point being in reality I am more than likely not going to beat this dreaded disease. This doesn't mean I will not stay positive and will do everything possible to beat it, but reflecting back on my mindset 18 months ago this is a big shift in mindset. I will keep my positive attitude right through to the end and hopefully this will be many years down the track. Scans and cancer cell counts coming up soon so will have more idea of where I am heading from this, meanwhile the Chemo roller coaster continues.