Glimmer of Hope from recent tests, BUT!!!!

This week has been a busy week with CT scans, blood tests and a visit to my normal GP. This is all in readiness for next week’s appointment with Dr. K. I have had a temperature for the past week or so and under normal circumstances this would not be a problem, but in my case it could actually be fatal if I do not do something about it. So off to my normal GP for some antibiotics for an infection in my left lung which by coincidently is where the latest tumors have popped up. I also have a lump in my groin which I had the Doctor check. Not good news as she thinks it is my Lymph nodes which could be cancerous. I had a CT scan in the morning so hopefully this will give us more information and pick up what is the problem. Later in the afternoon Dr K rang me as he had the results from my CT scans. My heart dropped to my toes as he normally does not call me and we wait until our next meeting. I said, "So give me the bad news"? Dr K replied with the opposite and just rang to say he had had a brief look at my scans and has seen a reduction in the size of the tumors compared to the last scan. Also my Tumor markers have come down slightly, still over 5,000 but at least this with a reduction in the size of the tumors is great news. I told him about the lump in my groin and what my GP said and he looked at the scans again but they did not cover that particular area. He seemed to think it would not be cancerous given the good results we have just got back and will give me a full check over next Monday when we meet. This has relaxed me to a degree but still in the back of my mind it might be bad news, if it is I don't know what I will do. Once it’s in my Lymph nodes it is like the main highway through my body and can spread very fast, so everyone cross your fingers and hopefully I am stressing over nothing!!!!! As I write this I am sitting in the big blue chair in the Chemo Suite having cycle 4. How quickly time goes, it just seemed like yesterday I started back on chemo again. The nurses are very impressed that the side effects after 4 cycles are minimal at this stage. This means I can continue on this protocol which is great, because once I cannot handle this protocol I only have about two types left to try. I have even put on a kilo in weight and am now 65 kilos, still a long way to go. So in normal fashion I seem to get some good news but get a kick in the guts with some bad news. As long as the good news keeps outweighing the bad I will be happy. I most probably won't post another blog now before Christmas, so I wish everyone and Merry Xmas and a great New Year, I know I will enjoy every minute of mine with my fantastic family and am just over the moon that I will be here. So please remember don't take these special times for granted as you never know if it will be your last. This may seem dramatic, but as you all know by now I have an entirely different outlook on life now. Enjoy this special time over the next few weeks and I will post again in the New Year.

Highest Tumor marker results since diagnosed

I have just been back to see Dr K to go over the results of my blood tests and CT scans which were taken prior to my first cycle of Chemo two weeks ago. It takes this long to get all the results through. The main reason for the tests is it gives us a benchmark to work off now I have started chemo again. I knew they would not be good as the last set of results were high obviously due to having no treatment for a long period of time. Not good is an understatement and I could see in Dr K's demeanor he was surprised at the results as well. My cancer cell count is at just over 5800, which compared to when I was first diagnosed at 5500. Remembering it should be between 0 and 5! So back to square one from two years ago. Should I have had the SIRT Sphere treatment in June??? I still believe it was the right decision at the time so no regrets. I got the markers down to a low of 20 over the past two years, and I will be focusing on doing the same again. Dr K is more conservative than this. As he explained in our meeting I am now a lot weaker and my internal organs have been through hell and back with all the treatment and drugs over the last two years, so he told me not to expect the same results again. They gave me 6 to 12 months when my markers were at 5500 so what is the prognosis now??? Of course I asked the question. Dr K sat back in his chair and had a sly grin on his face and said, "David you are not going to catch me out again, you have proven me wrong to date and I now have no idea on your time frame". He did say he could give me the spiel on the average length of life for my current state etc, but I was not interested in this info as it has proven to be all wrong so far. At least the results confirm why i have been so tired with this much action rushing around in my body and what white blood cells I have left trying to combat the dreaded cancer cells, it is no wonder I run out of energy by 2 o'clock every day. Cycle 2 of chemo today, and we will have all the tests again in another 4 weeks so will have at least 3 cycles under my belt and hopefully we will see some positive results. With all this happening I again sit back and reflect on what has happened and what may happen and when in the future. All i can do is keep fighting and making sure I enjoy every minute of every day. Chemo does definitely affect my lifestyle as the first week after the treatment is hell and then I come good and the rollercoaster keeps going. I think this is a timely reminder to everyone who reads my blog; think about the last time you stressed or got upset over something and tell me was it really that bad!!!!! Forget it and move on and remember each day is precious and you will never get it back again. Keep well everyone and thank you all for your continued support, I really appreciate it.

Back on the Chemo Rollercoaster

Today is Monday the 29th of October and it is 8.30am. I walk into the Chemo Suite at the Alan Walker Cancer Clinic. This is the first time back in the Chemo Suite since April this year. The nurses are always very friendly and welcome me back. Obviously they all still remember me as I have been coming here for two years now. I jump into the big recliner seat and get myself comfortable. They check my vitals and go over the blood test from last Friday. Now ready to go. They plug the needle into my port and start administering the lethal mix of drugs. I have been hooked up for an hour now and am feeling OK. I think this has been the only hesitation I have a present is how the drugs will affect me this time around. As you know I am very positive but have a feeling they will hit me hard this time around. Mainly due to the fact I a weaker now than I have since I was first diagnosed. I am happy to be back on the Chemo believe it or not. My results have been terrible lately and just want to get them back under control as soon as possible. Let’s hope the concoction they are pumping into me will have a good result and maybe even reduce my markers rather than just hold them. Time will tell. The ulcer has still not totally healed and causes me trouble/pain from time to time. As long as I keep the pain killers up I do not have too many issues. My weight is still a problem down to 63 kilos and having issues putting on any weight back on. Mainly due to the ulcer in my stomach. Fatigue is still knocking me around and struggle through the day from 3pm onwards. i just hope the Chemo does not make this any worse!!! Wish me luck this time around and hopefully the treatment will work before the side effects kick in.

An update

It has been awhile since my last post. There has been a lot going on and wanted to wait until I had a clear picture of what I was doing. Dr K spoke with the Specialist in Adelaide and they have another trial drug which they thought might work for me. Sorry I cannot remember the name of it but is very similar to most of the regular chemo cycles but obviously using a different drug. It is approved in the US, but not here. I had to fly down to Adelaide for a rushed appointment with the Specialists to see if I would qualify. To cut a long story short, no I do not qualify as I have been off regular chemo for too long whilst my results have been increasing. Not to worry I still have the fall back to regular chemo treatments, which the Doctors agree will most probably have a better outcome than the trial drug. Meghan, Sam and I are currently away in Bali having a well deserved break for a week. Once I get back I have an appointment with Dr K and straight back onto regulat chemo treatment. I have about three more different treatments to go before I am out of options. Depending on how well I do on each one will give us an indication of how long I have left. So what will happen is I go on one treatment until the side effects get too bad or it stops working and my markers start to increase rapidly. This will be the same for each treatment and once I have tried them all and there is nothing new to try it will be off the chemo until the end.all these treatments can only slow the cancer down and there is nothing out there which will cure my case, so crossed fingers they come up with a miricle drug in the near future which will save me! I am still battling this ulcer and am down to 63 kilos and Meg has nicknamed me "Skelie" obviously short for skeleton. Yes very funny. The increase in drugs has been great and am now pain free most of the time, but when I am in pain it is so bad I cannot describe it, to the point I throw up, so not so nice. Apart from the pain the only issue I have is my stamina, I have trouble concentrating past 3pm in the afternoon and just feel like having a sleep. Not a good look at work I think!! Everything else is great and Meg and Sam are doing well and we are really enjoying this break. Until I have any more news Bye for now.

Is the clock ticking!!!

It has been a big week. I had a scope on Monday to take a look and biopsy of the ulsers in my stomach. The pain is still really bad. I also had other CT scan and blood tests. This all culminated in an appointment with Dr. K. Meghan decided to come along this time, which is never a goos sign. It seems when Meg wants to come she is obviously concerned. So with all the info Dr K had he was well informed to bring us up to speed with how I am going. Not good! My cancer cell counts have gone through the roof increasing by 1000 points, this is the biggest increase I have had in along time. The scan showed an increase in all my tumors and larger increase than normal. The spots on my lungs have also increased in size confirming it is definitely tumors. Obviously the SIRT treatment only worked short term. The rush is now on to get me back onto chemo without effecting the ulers too much as we do not want them to bleed. We spoke about the pain I am in and Dr K has decided to hand me over to palliative care to put together concoction to rid me of the pain. I presume this means stronger drugs, but at the moment I don't really care I just want to be pain free. Where to from here? Dr K is going to consult the Doctors in Adelaide who have been following my case and together they will come up with a plan to get me back onto Chemo as soon as possible. This should slow down the spread and growth of the tumors. How ironic is that! I am actually looking forward to going back onto Chemo even knowing how much it mucks up my life. It seems this is the only way to improve my life expectancy. Wish me luck over the next few weeks and I will update once I have a clear direction of what they want to do with me as far as chemo cycles go.

Scan results are back ??????

I met with Dr K and he had my scan results back and also latest blood test results. My cancer cell count has come down again to approx 350, which is about half of the levels prior to the treatment. Dr K said it must as a result of the treatment as I am still off Chemo. Originally the specialist said best result would see a reduction by half so all going according to plan. The size of the tumors are still about the same but has been put down to the scan showing the dead cells as well, so will take that as a positive. But as usual two steps forward and one back. The scan also shows two active nodules in my right lung. These were identified on a previous scan but at that time they were too small to know what they were. Dr K is 90% sure it is cancerous so not good news. Nothing we can do at the moment and hopefully when I start Chemo again it may keep it under control or even kill it off if I am lucky. So not good news. I am still having trouble with the ulcers and am going back in for another scope to see what is going on. The fear is the ulcers have turned malignant (cancerous)which would mean the only way the get rid of would be to operate. Dr K has concerns about an operation due to my current state of health, but will cross that bridge when we get to it. To be honest I am over the continual pain and feeling like the walking dead by mid afternoon everyday. It is just not fair on my Family, Meghan and Sam. By the time I get home from work everyday I am not in the best frame of mind and have no energy to really enjoy their company or visa versa. I try my best but I just wish I felt normal. I have another appointment with Dr K on Monday so will discuss in detail, but not really interested in increasing the pain killers as I am on a very high dose now. I am still overwhelmed by the support I receive from everyone. It is the one thing that keeps me getting up each morning and getting through each day, so thank you to All for your phone calls and emails, it means so much to me.

Currently in Limbo

It's been awhile since my last blog, and mainly because I am in limbo at present. I went into hospital for day surgery and they found ulcers in my stomach caused through the SIRT treatment. There is no quick way to get rid of these so now on medication to reduce the pain and wait for the ulcers to heal. Dr K will not let me start back on chemo until they are all cleared up. I have had CT scans and they will compare the results from these scans against the last scans I had prior to the treatment. Hopefully we will see some reduction in the tumor sizes. I should have the results in the next week. So wish me good luck. It will be disappointing to go through so much pain and not see some improvement. I have not been so well within myself lately. Considering I have been off chemo since April now, I thought I would be starting to feel normal again, but not the case. I get to about 2pm each day and I just hit a brick wall. I just don't have the energy I used to have. Also my concentration levels have reduced dramatically which frustrates me no end. Given I had very radical treatment 2 months ago may be it is understandable. I think I just expect to much from myself, and need to start slowing down with my workload. Once I go back onto regular chemo treatment I have a feeling the fatigue will only get worse, so yes I am now starting to think about how I am going to handle my job or even if I can continue. Meghan is very supportive of me whatever decision I make, but for those who know me, it would be a huge step for me to stop working. I need to ensure the company is not suffering through me not being able to cope day to day, so the decision needs to be made while I am still on top of my game. Big call but not going to rush into it. So looking forward to getting my results although a little nervous and getting rid of these ulcers. Overall life is great and love living in Darwin, and made better by the weather at the moment as it is dry season and 30 degrees everyday. I will update everyone on my results as soon as I have them. Bye for now.

A month later and some concerns

It's now been just over a month since my SIRT treatment. The good news is my last blood test showed a drop in my cancer cell counts by about 200 points which is great but the levels are still high over 500. As I have not started my normal chemo it can only be attibuted to treatment. I have scans arranged for the end of July where they will compare before and after, so hopefully we will see some good results, fingers crossed. I am still in quite a lot of pain mainly in my stomach, and it does not seem to be subsiding. I am continually pushing pain killers down my throat it give me some relief, but to be honest I am getting very frustrated as I am not improving. I had scans this week and am booked in with a specialist for day surgery to go in and check for any ulcers in my stomach which can be a side effect of the treatment. Once we get this sorted I will be starting back on my regular fortnightly chemo treatment. It just never ends, but I have to accept this as my life now, and as long as I feel it is helping to extend my life expectancy I will continue to do whatever it takes. I have lost a lot of weight about 8 kilos as I just have no appetite and can not hold down any substantial size meal. Just need to get to the bottom of this constant pain issue and I should be back on track and be able to focus on keeping my cancer cell counts down and start enjoying my life again. I feel for Meghan and Sam as they are the ones putting up with my mood swings and I admit I am not easy to live with at the moment, so thanks guys and I promise I will be back to normal soon. Well maybe not normal as I am far from a normal person these days. I will update once I have results near the end of the month. Thank you for all your support and well wishes it means a lot to me.

A Big Risk has been taken and I have walked out the other side Alive

Well here I am "ALIVE". I did have my doubts at stages after the treatment, I kept thinking no one can be in this much pain and survive, yes I know but I cannot begin to compare to anything expect having some drive a serrated knife into your stomac and twist it. Not that I have but heel it must be close to the feel.once they sort the pain killers out by day 3 I was much happier. Going into the theatre it was good to see Dr Mattreghan again as I was really comfortable with him aver the last treatment which he preformed. He even had a bit of a joke with me which I responded with all ok for him he was standing up and I was the one on the table with no clothes on and surgical antiseptic swaps all over me. Dr Choo was the Dr implanting the sir spheres and was very happy with his research of all the other angiograms and exactly what needed to be done. So confidence level prior to going under was up high. After about two hours they had me out and coherent again which I obvious was fairly happy about. Not long back on wards and they had me back in for scans to ensure all the implanted soldiers went in to the correct battle zones for ultimate impact. The two nights I spent in the hospital were terrible the fact I was still finding my pain levels and nausea meant I was only getting about two hours sleep so the rest of the time was spent throwing up and in pain. Nice. Today is one week from the day of the treatment and I must admit I am 100% better than last week at the same time, that is a good sign, the only concern I currently have is the amount of morphine I need to take to get through. I am now recording how many and times and stretch out as long as possible and as the pain subsides so will the need for drugs. I have my next Docs appointment on Monday so will know more but in reality will not have quantifiable results for 3 months. In the mean time some reduction in tumor marker would be great. Thank you to all who sent messages and phone calls over the last week it has meant a lot to both Meghan, Sam and myself. I will post in a few weeks when I have some results and hopefully feeling better. thank you All once more

SIRT Procedure Complete - Status Update

Hi Everyone, It's Meghan, just submitting a short post to let you all know how David went with this SIRT procedure today. In total the procedure took approximately two hours, he was also in recovering a couple of hours afterwards, by the time I got to see David, he was experiencing a significant amount of pain and nausea, the nausea has since abated as he has been provided with anti nausea medication however he states the pain is still significant. The doctor reported that the procedure went well, as they were able to get a majority of the drug into his body. He is currently having an MRI and CT scan to establish where the spheres actually ended up. The doctor has indicated that David will be discharged tomorrow and can fly home to Darwin soon after. We will assess how he is feeling on Saturday morning and determine when he will be comfortable to fly. I would just like to take this opportunity to say how proud both Sam and I are of David and how much we love him. Thank you for reading this blog post and for all the support that everyone has shown to David, Sam and I. Meghan xo

Countdown to the big one

Final angiogram went well and now have $8500 Worth of platinum in my liver in the form of minute springs to block blood flow leakage out of my liver. Docs tell me I have two blood vessels which they could not close off which will cause me some pain after the treatment. thanks Guys!!! But cannot be helped. Short term pain for long term again. I hope. Everything I have researched on this treatment re- enforces the risks involved with this. But I have had plenty of time to think about it and am comfortable I am doing the right thing. For those who have been reading my blogs for awhile now would know I am not prepared to just sit back and be another satistic in the Cancer world. The Docs seem to think it will add another 1 to 2 years to my life expectancy so definitely worth the risk. The trouble is I do not have any idea on how long I have at present. The idea is to stay alive as long as possible and hope like hell they find a cure to this terrible disease. Meaghan again will be my Rock over the treatment as she will be by my side for the entire time. Sammy will be having some one on one time with his Nan Nan, so thank you Monica, it means so much to us to have your support. I most probally won't have a chance to talk to many of you before the treatment, so I am counting on all your energy and hope to be directed at me on Thursday so all will go well. To say I am a bit apprehensive would be a understatement, but continue to keep positive and I am sure even though my body will be in overload my mind will take over and keep me strong. So the next time you will hear from me I expect I will be through the treatment and have some positive news for you. Again wish me luck and speak soon.

One more Angiogram and then the Big Attack

How things change in such a short period of time? Since my last blog the Specialist rang and said I need to go back for another angiogram, as a precaution in readiness for the assault on these liver tumors. So same treatment again, the difference this time I feel much better than the last time I had the treatment. I have been off Chemo for a month now and starting to feel like a real person again instead of a walking Zombie. I could get used to this and have some quality of life back. Dreaming! , I am just about to inject a lethal dose of Chemo into my liver and the side & after effects will not be pretty. Dr K said we will recommence my regular chemo cycle 2 weeks after the Sirsphere treatment all going well. Now that’s something to look forward to. I will make the most of this good feeling for the next 10 days or so. Strange to get excited about feeling normal!!!!So here I am sitting here waiting to be admitted for my next work up treatment, Sunday the 27th and expect to be back in Darwin on Tuesday all going well. Ten days later I will be back for the Major attack on this bloody cancer. Funny I still ask myself is this the right track to take???? And then its moments like Sammy’s 4th Birthday last Friday and the joy I get from watching him grow up and how he looks up to me for guidance. I just can’t leave him and this keeps me fighting everyday to stay alive for as long as possible. Sammy is my inspiration and Meghan is my rock. Without my 2 best friends I may have just curled up and let the Cancer win. Thank you Guys for everything, I know it is not easy on both of you and for this you deserve better. To everyone else thank you for your support so far and it is now more than ever I need it as I go through this dangerous treatment. Wish me luck over the next 2 weeks.

It's ON, time to blast this cancer

I have just got back from my tests with the specialist down south. All went well and the Doctors have given the green light to perform the SIRT treatment. This is excellent news, as I have been planning this for quite awhile now and was always going to be last resort, and now that is really what it is. If I don't have the treatment now I may not be eligible further down the road. Lucky I did when I did as they had to block off approximately 8 blood vessels which were leaking out of my liver. So game on now. I feel like it is a bit like a war game, where we have gone in and done the recognizance and now have a plan in place to go in and catch this cancer by surprise and blow these tumors out of my body. Believe me it has not been an easy week. I left not feeling 100 percent and had a really bad case of mouth ulcers, which is one of the side effect of Chemo. They were so bad I got to the stage I could not eat or talk. I had the PET scan on Wednesday and all went week. I went back in on Thursday morning for the big test. The nurses took a heap of my blood as usual to check my levels. The doctor came to see me quite concerned in my current condition and said he could not perform the test in my state. They admitted me and hooked me up to a drip straight away. For a change it was good drugs being pumped into me to bring my levels to an acceptable level, so we had 24 hours to get me right. The Doctors were confident this was achievable and had organize for the test to be postponed until the Friday morning. To give an indication of my condition, I lost 9 kilos in 5 days. Friday morning came around and another blood test and the drugs had worked so into the nuclear medicine department. All up there where 4 doctors and 3 nurses. I was awake for the 2 1/2 hour procedure. They entered through my groin and put a catheter up into my liver and with the aid of the imaging unit were able to block off any leaking blood vessels. Obviously this is what the test was for. If I had anymore leaking vessels they may have not continued. It was a very uncomfortable procedure but came through OK. I was able to leave the hospital about 5.30 that afternoon. So no date set as yet but should know in the next few days but will be in the next 2 weeks. I will let you all know once organized. Wish me luck and thank you all for your support so far.

SIRT test dates set

I had my appointment with Dr K on Monday and he was organized with my test dates for the SIRT treatment. No wasting time, it will be next week. Wednesday a PET scan and Thursday the Angiogram to ensure the beads don't leak into other organs of my body which would be serious, I mean very serious so there is an element of risk with this treatment. If I pass the tests they will book me approximately in 2 weeks time for the treatment. I am nervous about the tests and hope all goes well otherwise all my research and work on his will be in vein. For those you do not know much on the SIRT treatment here is a link to a good website to explain the process. http://www.insideradiology.com.au/pages/view.php?T_id=32 I had my 8th treatment this week on my current protocol and it was the worst I have felt this time around. I would normally go back to work after the treatment and struggle through but not this time. I went straight home and crashed on the bed. Maybe the amount of chemo is catching up with me? The Doc keeps telling me it will be a matter of time. So maybe as per my last blog I will need to take a day off each fortnight to recover, we will see how I go. But a big month coming up if all goes ahead as the week between SIRT treatment I have another round og Chemo and the one the well after so will work out to 5 weeks in a row of treatment. Not sure my body can handle so much poison into my body continuously, but am sure the Doctors will know best and will rely on thier opinions. Please wish me luck for next week as I have ally riding on this. It is by no means going to be a cure but could aid to prolong my life expectancey. Fingers and toes crossed.

Time to bring out the Big Guns

It's been awhile since my last post, mainly because there has been so much happening at the moment. My last blood test showed the first drop in my tumor markers for a number of months. It was only a slight drop but better than an increase. The Chemo treatment is hitting me hard now as I go into the 7th cycle of this protocol. Not sure how long I will be able to keep working and at this stage would suspect it will only be the one or two days after the treatment I will need to rest and recover in the beginning. Dr K has been busy organizing for me to have the test which will decide if I can have the SIRT treatment, so looks like I will at least have the test and if eligible will have the treatment two weeks later. This can not be done in Darwin so will involve three flights down to the Royal Adelaide Hospital, where Dr K has the contacts to have the procedure done, whereas we originally where looking at Melbourne. I am under no illusions this treatment will really hit me hard and from all I have read including other cancer patients stories who have had the treatment. Apparently the three days after the treatment I will be so radioactive I will need to be in isolation for this period and some patients have likened it to the closest thing to dying, so will be no fun. But no pain no gain!!! I have an appointment with Dr K on Monday so will have a better idea on dates. On a brighter note I am looking forward to my 50th birthday coming up in mid June. My birthday is not until early July but the V8 cars are here in Darwin in June so organizing the party around this date. So far it looks like most of my Best Mates will be coming which will be fantastic, I only hope I will have recovered from the SIRT treatment if all goes ahead, bu cannot let this get in the way when only two years ago I and the Doctors did not think I would make 50! I will post again once I have more info on the upcoming fight with this terrible thing called Cancer.

Results are in but Jury is out

I had my appointment with Dr K on Monday with both blood & CT scan results in. Overall a positive outcome with my Cancer cell counts down slightly and the tumor sizes remaining stable, slight increase but not enough to worry about. We had the discussion about the SIRT Sphere treatment. The issue we face is if I don’t have it soon I may not be eligible due to my various organs becoming affected by the Chemo. Dr K will speak with the specialist in this field and get his opinion. Best case we could expect out of this treatment is to hopefully reduce the size of the tumors by 50% and pushing my luck kill off all the small tumors which are spotted throughout my liver. This would then give me a longer life span hopefully. I should know more in approximately 10 days. I am back in for CT scans this Friday, this time on my head. I have been suffering from constant headaches and Dr K just wants to make sure it has not spread to my brain, not much chance of that as many people think I don’t have one. Joking!!!! So again living on hope I hope the results are all clear. The current treatment is having an effect on me and I can feel myself having to struggle to get through the afternoons. Meghan and I have spoken about me giving up work, and at some stage I will have to give in and make that decision. I will know when that time comes and will not let my work suffer because of the cancer and resign before that happens, but for now I enjoy my work and will continue. I just reread my blog and noticed I have used the word Hope quite often. Obviously this is what I live on now and to date feel very lucky I have passed the original 18 month life expectancy timeframe and expect to continue to prove the Doctors wrong.

Scans complete and waiting for results

Wednesday I had my scans done and obviously you do not get any results there and then, so the waiting game starts. This is a tense time as I have a lot riding on these results. If they are not good I will more than likely be having SIRT Sphere treatment, which is like injecting the highest form of Chemo directly into my liver and from what I have read takes a lot to recover from. If the results are good well we will continue on the current treatment. Stressful time and to add to it was the passing of Jim Stynes from a 5 year battle with cancer, who is an .AFL football legend for those who are not from Australia. He has been an inspiration to me since I was diagnosed and yes I shed tears when I heard the news. If such a strong and determined man can fall from this disease what hope do I have. He leaves a beautiful family behind and this only makes it so much harder to accept and just makes me stronger to keep fighting. Monday is D day when I meet with Dr K and Meghan is coming, and you know it is an important appointment when Meghan comes and some big decisions may need to be made. I still sit back at times and wonder how I can go from jogging up the beach regularly on the Sunshine Coast 18 months ago to where I am now, not that I am angry or looking for pity, it just goes to show it can happen to anyone, so to everyone please do me one favour, go to the doctor and get tested. Don't be like me and find out when it is too late. I will update you all on the results next week, so keep your fingers crossed for some good news.
Thank you to all who continue to support me as I know everyone leads busy lives.
Bye for now

TIME TO REFLECT AND BE REALISTIC

It's been 18 months since first diagnosed with terminal cancer. Yes I remember the day very well. Of course the first question back then was how long? Six to eighteen months was the best they could give me. So I have made it to the top end of the average. The first twelve months gave me plenty of hope with fantastic results with the destruction of my bowel tumor. I thought this is going to be a walk in the park and will kick this cancer crap and live until I'm 85 or so. Is that the case now?? At some stage you have to be realistic. I was always told the liver was going to be my demise, and this is panning out to be true. Overall the tumors on my liver have improved since day one but not enough to make any difference to the end result. Meghan and I have been organizing for the future and we both realize it will more than likely not involve me. Just being realistic, because we cannot just put our head in the sand and not take note of what the doctors tell us. Part of the organizing was some paper work which I needed from two oncology specialist, one being my full-time doctor and the other who has been following my case from Adelaide. Both signed off to say I had less than twelve months to live. OK I know I can do better than this but the point being in reality I am more than likely not going to beat this dreaded disease. This doesn't mean I will not stay positive and will do everything possible to beat it, but reflecting back on my mindset 18 months ago this is a big shift in mindset. I will keep my positive attitude right through to the end and hopefully this will be many years down the track. Scans and cancer cell counts coming up soon so will have more idea of where I am heading from this, meanwhile the Chemo roller coaster continues.

Is the new treatment working????????

Here I am 4 weeks to the day from my last post. Yes sitting in the Chemo ward again sucking up all those serious drugs, trying to keep this deadly disease at bay. My cancer cell counts are still headed north, up over 245 now. Is the new treatment working? I am going to have a CT scan in the next few weeks which will give us a better indication. I had a meeting with one of the specialist from Adelaide who has been involved in my case. He is now leaning towards the SIRT Sphere treatment, but will make that decision once we get the CT results back. As I have mentioned before it is a very hard core treatment, which does put some fear factor into my head, but at the end of the day I have nothing to lose and if it helps I am all for it.
Today is Meghan and my wedding anniversary of 5 years. I am more in love with her now than ever before, if that is possible. She is my Rock and my best Friend. Meghan did not deserve to have my Cancer thrust upon her and turn her life upside down, for this I apologise, but she has been the one person who has kept me positive and able to get out of bed every day and face the continual side effects and the ongoing mental battle I have going on in my head. Happy Anniversary Beautiful and hoping for many more.
Wish me luck with my next set of results and remember don’t dwell on small issues, life is too short. Live each day as if it is your last. I Do!

Time to Attack

Today I sit here in the Chemo unit attached to a drip which is releasing new warfare into my body to hopefully stop the current onslaught of the Cancer. I went back to see Dr K on Monday and yes my cancer cell count is still rising rapidly, now up to 165.
We spoke in depth about the new treatment. At the end of the day it is very similar to the first treatment I had just a couple of different drugs. First round treatment had a dramatic effect on the cancer to the point of slaughtering my bowel tumor. Dr K told me in no uncertain terms second round treatment is nowhere near as effective as the first so don’t expect similar results.
We did have a conversation about the SIRT treatment which I have had on the back burner to use when all else fails. Dr K suggested it may be wise to draw this wild card sooner than later. The reason being the longer I am on Chemo the more it is eating my body away, and may get to the stage where I will not pass the criteria to have the treatment. In amongst our conversation he alluded to the fact he was not confident the new treatment will have the effect I am expecting. Of course I am expecting to cure this terrible disease, but in reality that may not be the case. I will now contact the specialist down in Melbourne and start the process of preparing for the SIRT treatment. More than likely this will not take place for a few months by the time we get sorted. Not looking forward to it as everything I have read confirms it is very heavy duty and will take all my strength to go through the treatment. For now I will attack the tumors as hard as I can with the new drugs and hopefully have some good results soon.
Life goes on and I am still making sure I enjoy everyday.

Last day of current treatment but something is not right

Obvious statement under the current circumstances I suppose!
What I mean is usually at the end of my chemo cycle I feel very flat, but thIs time I feel there is something not right. Can I explain it, No, I have got to a stage where I understand how my body is reacting to the chemo and cancer in some werid way. Maybe it is just overdoing our Christmas trip away, and if is the case, I am happy to suffer as it was great to catch up with everyone from Family to Friends.Thanks to everyone who took time out to catch up, it means so much to me. On another note, I have been following a guys life through a blog site. He has the same cancer as myself, both bowel & liver. Some of you might have heard of him, Kristian Anderson, he was interviewed by Oprah Winfrey when she was in Australia. He was diagnosed back in Oct 2008 and died Monday this week.How does this make me feel to know someone with the same diagnosis only managed to live for two years? I think it has hit me harder than I realize and has added to my low emotional state which happens at this stage of my chemo cycle. I could just accept it as the inevitable and start planning my demise or I could be selfish and think it makes my odds better as the survival rate for my cancer is only 1 in 20. Yes that low. So I am still here keeping positive and hoping I will last long enough till they find a cure for this terrible disease. I suspect the next round of chemo treatment is going to knock me around quite a bit and I am starting to prepare myself to slow down at work. This is the worst thing that can happen emotionally to me as it means the cancer is effecting the life I love so much, and for this I can not express how much I hate this bloody cancer. It's bad enough the life changes I have already had to suffer, but to now effect the job I love doing is really going to hurt. I must admit my company are fully supportive and have offered to support me through this period, which is fantastic. I obviously still have the great support of my Family and will never let it effect the time I spend with Meghan & Sammy, as if there does come a day when all they have is memories, I want to be remembered for the good times and not some lifeless body laying in a bed being consumed by cancer. But that's not going to happen as my positivity has not weaned, I might stray of track every now and then, which I put down to chemo brain, but deep down I know I can beat this bloody cancer.
Sorry for such a long blog, but as you can tell I needed to get it of my chest and this is why a started this blog in the first place. Wish me luck as I start my next treatment and I will update soon.